Question
Our household is just me and my husband.I have been irritated with his behaviors, unable to understand why he thinks the way he does. And my condition has also been going down. How are we supposed to face each other as husband and wife?
(Female 60’s)
A
When a family is compared to a tree, the husband should play the role of the roots, while the wife the trunk. For the family to be a healthy and strong tree, the husband and the wife absolutely need to deepen their ties, cooperate and create a balanced relationship.
To enjoy conversations is the key to deepening the ties.
If you live with a kokoro to give back, love will naturally grow; the kokoro of the two will come together and merge; and you will come to understand each other’s thoughts and feelings.
Making conversations is the key to deepening the tie between the husband and the wife. Avoid labeling the other as incomprehensible, convinced that only you are right. But be considerate; put yourself in the other’s shoes and communicate. First listen and accept the other’s thoughts and feelings, and then communicate yours. Having the feelings to enjoy conversations is also important. Considerate and enjoyable conversations will make one’s kokoro bright and strong. In time, you will come to sense each other’s thoughts and feelings, which you have not seen heretofore. As you have been married for long years, a slight change in your way of perceiving things will lead to the improvement your relations.
When you regain calmness in your kokoro, it will naturally stabilize your physical conditions.