Question
My husband is a very aggressive, violent person. Trying to have a descent conversation with him is impossible, and nothing gets resolved. Our child is emotionally disturbed from this situation and becoming very unstable. Should I leave him?
(Female 40’s)
A
Family is where one must find peace and a sense of comfort and security. It should not be a place where there is violence. Family is like a tree, where the husband/father is the root, the wife/mother is the trunk, and the children are the branches. It stands as a tree with everybody together. Violence or any aggression that breaks the family apart, will kill the entire tree—which means that none of the family members will come out with happiness. Everyone is left with a scar.
Know your role in the family and follow through
Naturally, the kokoro of the family will come together and conversation will grow
This is a family environment where a person who achieves a life of fulfillment is fostered
The first thing to be done is to bring yourself together—bring yourself to calmness to see the situation correctly and not one sided. A great way is to tell your feelings through kigan and release your pain.
And at the same time, reflect on how you have treated your husband til this day. This is because relationships are always the involvement of each other—it usually isn’t one sided.
We all are born with something good. And your husband must have had something that attracted you as a person. Were you interacting with him to bring out that goodness in him? Also, how have you been facing your child?
If there is anything you can do on your side to change, it is best to work on that to begin with. Whatever you decide to do; before you take action, it is better to stop and face the situation without making judgments, think in your husband’s shoes and then make the decision. This way, you will not feel regretful by reacting to the situation emotionally.