(IM from Osaka/Female/20s/Housewife)
My husband drinking alcohol had become my great concern. I knew it was to relieve stress from work, but he seemed not well. Despite that, he still did not try to take time to rest. I asked him not to be too hard on himself, and get some help, but he did not listen to me. When I asked his boss to ask if my husband could have some time off, we got into a fight. I told him that I want him to live a long and healthy life, but he said he does not need help. I was blaming him for not understanding how much I worried for his well-being.
I visited the church to ask help from Kami about my feelings of despair. Speaking to Kami helped and I gradually felt calm and at ease. Being calm and by being in touch with the teachings allowed me to see what I needed to change and correct. For example, contacting his workplace probably made him uncomfortable and felt like he was treated like a child. And when I become emotional over my worries for him, he probably does not see my view to understand.
I made the effort to use generous words and attitudes with hopes that my husband could feel relaxed and at ease. As I changed my approach to him, his stubborn attitude changed, and started to accept and listen to my feelings. His drinking got less, and put priority on his health. Although there are some ups and downs in a marriage, every day is a fresh start to learn, discover and practice something new.